How to Find Erotic Literature That Actually Turns You On

Many women I work and speak with are curious about erotica, especially in written or audio forms, but just aren’t sure how to find content that will be appealing to them. (It’s not exactly something you can google without risking an unwanted eyeful!)

Can you judge an erotic book by its cover? Or are there other ways to help ensure that your turn-on actually turns on as you flip the pages?

Here are 4 questions to help you find erotica that whets your whistle.

1 — How long of an erotic runway do you need?

How many pages does it take for your turn-on to lift off?

Do you love to get immersed in a story, savor the plot as it develops, and build a slow heat of longing for the characters to finallllllllly get busy?

Or are you looking for a written quickie, where you’re complete from turn on to cum down in 20 pages or less?

Or, maybe you’re somewhere in between; you want sex to happen earlier in the story, but are game to have the plot extend over a few reading sessions.

It’s important to know what tends to get you in the mood so that you’re looking for the best-fitting format. Written erotica is available from short-form digital blog posts all the way to fully developed novels, and while some folks are only satisfied after a meaty meal of sub-plots and extensive build-up, others get the most erotic nutrition from a salty snack of get-down-to-business.

Based on what your preferences are, you may be on the hunt for erotic blog posts, erotic poetry, erotic short story anthologies, romance novels, erotic non-fiction, sexy beach reads, or—for those with a more visual predilection—graphic novels, or even erotic art coffee table books.

I’ve listed some of my favorites at the end of this article, but—buyer beware—my turn-ons might not match yours!

You can use my Erotic Temperature 🔥 scale to gauge the runway length/sexual intensity of each selection.

2 — What’s your kink?

A selection of kinky things from the author’s collection

Maybe you loooove to hear hot stories of long-term lovers who keep the erotic fires burning. Or perhaps it gives you tingles to read about same-sex adventures, play parties, threesomes, BDSM, or sexy sci-fi. Whatever your kink may be (no matter how quirky or unique you may think it is), there is probably an entire genre of erotica dedicated to it.

You might not even know your kink until you read about something and notice your body responding to it! This is why erotic short story anthologies that cross genres can be illuminating and fun to (s)explore.

Note that your relational preferences might not be reflected by your erotica turn-ons. For example, I know many heterosexual women who enjoy lesbian erotica. Your erotic kinks do not necessarily mean anything about who you are, your gender or sexuality, or how you choose to structure relationships in your actual life.

The less shame we hold onto about our turns-ons, the less sexuality has to live in the shadows – where it does the most damage.

3 — When was the content written, and by whom?

Vintage 80’s Romance Novel Cover Art

Back in the golden days of romance novels (hello, mid-eighties) there was a whole lot of damsel-in-distress-male-saviorism going on. Orgasms were instantaneous, there was ne’er a condom in sight, and the women were all designed for the male gaze. Prior to that, much of the erotic literature was written by men, for men, and even female writers like Anaïs Nin wrote for a mostly male readership.

If reading about those dynamics does not float your boat, then look for more contemporary creations written by someone who shares your sexuality and gender preferences.

There’s erotic literature written specifically for (and by): trans and non-binary folks, LGBTQI, the BBIPOC community, the neurodivergent crew, specific religious preferences, hobbies and interests, and more. An author who shares your worldview or preferences is probably more likely to understand what will rock your socks.

Try searching for “[your peeps/hobby/interest] + erotic literature” and see what the search results proffer. If you want to aim for a less risky venue, try searching from within the annals of BookShop.org or Amazon.

Just to test this theory, I googled “Knitting Erotica” and found this on Amazon:

When Amirah doubts her girlfriend’s knowledge of complex knitting patterns, Shaniq must put her skills to the test in order to prove the deftness and sensitivity of her fingers. A sensual and sexy journey into stitches.

I’m telling you, there’s truly something for everyone!

4 — Do you have any triggers to avoid?

Erotic literature can be incredibly triggering if you don’t know what to expect going into it. Even “classic” erotica works like Delta of Venus are close to unpalatable for many people, myself included.

(I came across it as a recommendation on someone’s blog and whew! with my traumas and family history, it was NOT for me… All in the name of research for you, dear reader. May my guidance here help prevent you from a similar experience!)

Stumbling into triggering content is one of the primary reasons that a turn-on can shift into a turn-off or downright nervous system cascade so quickly.

That’s why I love anthologies like Rose Caraway’s The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica, which prefaces each short story with a “catalog card” that lists the story’s genre/category and primary subject matter.

You’ll be able to tell whether it’s a no-go for you without even turning the page:

Sample Catalog Card from “The Sexy Librarian’s Big Book of Erotica”

Once you trust an author or editor, you can look for more works by them, and peruse the “you might also like…” recommendations that appear on bookshop.org or amazon.com.

As with any sexual experience, you get to say NO or GO at any time.